8.6.15

Nilhouse Had a Daughter, Apparently

Nilhouse always showed up an hour late because of his fucking job (but he was probably a fucking liar). 39 other regulars could figure out how to show up, and yet we always wound up replacing Nilhouse the priest with some incompetent or another. They never worked out.

Especially not in the last couple of boss fights.

We'd fought through the sickly, goo-crusted halls of the city of Ahn'Qiraj. Learned the weaknesses of the towering, self-cloning boss monster living on the surface of the city. Fought our way inside, slaying scarab-like royalty in the caverns below ground. We'd slain a chitinous princess, who'd flown around a room, slaughtering us repeatedly for a week. The giant Anubis-faced bug guardians, the centipede boss, both “on farm,” meaning easy enough that we could harvest loot from their steaming corpses and move on.

Killing the Twin Emperors, that required a surgeon’s precision, with accompanying competent nurses and support staff. We needed that rat bastard Nilhouse. Figuring out the Twin Emps, and their far less impressive minions, had held us up for a few weeks. Worse, every week your progress would be reset. Even if you'd finished the epic fight against the Twin Emps, even if you'd gotten to gaze into this last luscious room, getting one sweet glimpse at the C’thun, the house-sized, gazing eye at the heart of all this bullshit, if you didn't kill him by the end of the week – all those other bosses came back to life. And The Cold was catching up to us. So when every other priest couldn’t help but fuck up, we really weren’t in the mood to hear about his daughter’s ballerina recital.

We had to get past the Twin Emps, before we could resume practicing C'thun.

Thus far we'd all invested about 5 months of work, easily 40 hours a week – if not 60 – all working up to this one fight. Our stinking selves, stewing in sweaty seats, eating god-knows-what while we stare at computer monitors for eight hours straight. Don’t broadcast your wailing baby behind you. Let your fucking Cujos out of the house before we start. And for the love of shit, please oh please, be on time for the raid.

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